There's A Reason
by Caillynn Mastyn
Summary: Ziva is dead, and the team, especially Tony, is grieving. Gibbs decides that life is too short not to tell Abby how he really feels. Tissue warning! Team/Tony angst, Gabby & Papa Gibbs. Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**There's A Reason**

**I do not own NCIS...**

**Chapter One**

Ziva David was dead. It all happened so fast, and was incredibly unexpected. Gibbs felt like he had been punched in the gut. Ziva was in the warehouse alone; once again she had disregarded protocol, and made the mission a personal vendetta. Gibbs, Tony and Tim were racing toward the warehouse when they saw it suddenly destroyed in a ball of fire and a loud bang. They all felt the shock wave pass through the car. Looking at the building in the near distance, no one said a word as contact with Ziva was lost and Gibbs floored the gas pedal. That was four hours ago. Ziva's remains were now being cared for and processed with the utmost respect by Ducky and Abby.

Abby. Gibbs sat in his basement, alone, while the other agents were at headquarters doing paperwork and making sure that every last bit of evidence was sifted through and scrutinized. Ziva was gone. He thought back to only a few hours ago when he had to break the news to Abby. The look on her face when he told her broke his heart into tiny pieces. He pulled her into his arms and held her close while she sobbed, and he whispered comforts into her ear. It took every ounce of Gibbs strength not to cry along with her. As he held her and fought away his tears, he repeatedly kissed her on the temple and breathed in the scent of her shampoo. He wanted to take her face in his hands and kiss her trembling lips, kiss away her tears, make both of them stop hurting so damn much... But he just couldn't do it. It wasn't the right time. He needed to hurt right now.

As he sat and looked at the unfinished toy-box he was making for Amira, he poured himself half a mason jar full of bourbon. He swallowed it down in one shot, then pushed the jar and bottle aside. He began to sand the top of the box while his head spun and his heart ached over Ziva's death, among other things. He couldn't stop thinking about all of the things he knew he should have said to Ziva but never took more than one opportunity to say. He should have told her how much she was like a daughter to him, and how much he loved her. He tried to show her all of the time, but he knew he should have said it more. He told her once, right after she got back from Somalia, and Gibbs and Vance interrogated her regarding Staff Sgt Daniel Krier and what happened on board the Damocles. Once Malachi was gone and the interrogation cameras were turned off, Ziva finished the story for Gibbs. He stood up, leaned over and whispered into her ear, "You will always be my daughter. I love you, kid." Ziva smiled and her lip trembled, as relief washed over her that her adopted Abba still loved her. After that time, Gibbs shared smiles with her now and then, but never again came out and told her how he felt. As much as Gibbs was thinking about Ziva, his mind constantly wandered back to Abby. His Abby. If she only knew. He got a chance to tell Ziva how much like a daughter she was to him, but he never told Abby. He had the opportunity, though. Right there in the basement, after she had identified the bullet that killed Pedro Hernandez as Gibbs', she stood in front of him and raised her voice to him.

"Stop saying 'I know!'" Abby exclaimed.

"What do you want me to say?" Gibbs asked.

"Tell me that I'm wrong! Tell me that I made a mistake with the ballistics, or...

Gibbs shook his head and looked away, ashamed. "No... No, I can't say that."

"Then... tell me how much I've been like a daughter to you, and how much you love me..."

Gibbs looked at her sadly for a moment before asking, "Will that help?" It was only way that he could respond. At the time, he faced the very real threat of spending the rest of his days in a Mexican prison, but he still couldn't bring himself to lie to her. He couldn't say that he loved her like a daughter, because he didn't. His love went so much deeper than that. Gibbs found himself startled at his next thought. Ziva was gone, so suddenly and unexpectedly. What if he suddenly and unexpectantly lost his Abby too? He wasn't sure if it was the bourbon, or if he was having a real epiphany, but he needed to tell Abby how he felt, consequences be damned. He was terrified of losing her friendship, but knew he couldn't hold it in anymore. He glanced at the time on his cell. 0130 hours. He had just gotten a text from Tony that he and Tim had finished for the evening and gone home. He knew that Abby was probably still buzzing around her lab, high on Caf-POW! and looking for answers. Answers as to why they had to bury yet another family member. Gibbs ran a hand over his face and sighed a shuttering breath. Life is just to damn short to not say how you feel. He picked his jacket up off the sawhorse and took the stairs out of the basement two at a time. He got into his Challenger and raced towards headquarters; toward her.

Abby was typing on her laptop, processing DNA and evidence from the explosion that had ended the life of Ziva. One of her three musketeers and best friends. She fought hard to fend off the tears, but every now and then would let one sneak through. She was sad and exhausted. She was waiting for results from Major Mass Spec, and a few other programs and let her mind wander to Gibbs. Gibbs held her so tenderly as he broke the news to her about Ziva. He had been so comforting to her while he was hurting so bad himself, and Abby had wanted nothing more than to ease his pain with her kisses... But she couldn't. As far as she knew, Gibbs saw her as a daughter. If she ever let him know how she really felt about him, it would undoubtedly scare him away for good, and Abby loved him so much that she was willing to take what she could get from him. She looked up, surprised as she heard the bell of the elevator.

"Gibbs... It's late, I thought you went home..." Abby said, caught off guard by his presence. Gibbs walked up to her slowly and pulled her into his arms.

"Abbs..." Gibbs whispered into her ear as he hugged her close and kissed her cheek tenderly, "I've been thinking about things. About Ziva... How life is too short not to say how you feel." He paused and rubbed her back, still hugging her close, and Abby remained completely silent, waiting for him to finish speaking. "Abby... do you remember when you finished the report on Pedro Hernandez, then came down to the basement to talk?"

"Yes." Abby whispered and Gibbs continued.

"There's a reason..." He paused, took a deep breath and forced himself to keep talking, "There's a reason that I didn't tell you how much you've been like a daughter to me that night... It's because I don't love you like a daughter." Abby pulled away from him just enough to look him in the eyes, hurt, exhaustion and confusion written all over her face.

"Gibbs... What?" Abby asked, on the verge of tears, "Why would you say that..." Gibbs silenced her by putting a finger gently on her lips and then stroking her cheek with his thumb.

I love you so much more than that, Abbs." Gibbs whispered, his voice thick with emotion. Gibbs' deep blue eyes locked onto hers, and she finally understood what he was saying. Before she could recover from her realization he said, "I just needed to tell you." He pulled away from her, turned around and started walking out of the lab. As the sliding glass doors opened for him to leave, she called out to him.

"Gibbs..."

He stopped walking, turned around slowly and began moving toward her again, pain and tenderness etched onto his features. As soon as she saw the look on his face, she could not hold back any longer... It had been too damn long. She walked toward him and did not stop until her lips met his and her arms were around him. After the initial shock of the moment, Gibbs immediately responded by kissing her back passionately.

Tony had come back to the office, having left his phone on his desk. He saw that Abby's car was still in the parking lot, and decided to take the stairs down to the lab to see if she wanted a ride home. He was stopped dead in his tracks, just before the sensor for the sliding glass doors triggered them to open. He peered silently through the glass, and watched as Gibbs held Abby close in a kiss, his one hand traveling to the small of her back and the other on the back of her head. He watched as a single tear slid down Gibbs' cheek as he kissed her. Shocked at the scene in front of him and not wanting to interrupt, he silently turned around and took the stairs back up to the bullpen, and then went back to his car.

"What the hell is going on..." Tony wondered as he drove out of the Navy Yard, still distraught about losing his partner and best friend, and now with the added confusion of seeing Abby and Gibbs kissing passionately in her lab. Tony got home and immediately opened his liquor cabinet, choosing not to think about or feel anything tonight... He'd drown his sorrows now and worry tomorrow...

**TBC? Let me know if you would like me to keep this going or leave it as a oneshot. Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own NCIS...**

**Chapter 2**

Tony got home and immediately poured himself a generous amount of scotch. He downed it, poured another, and sat wearily on the couch. Then he wept. He wept for Ziva. For the love that he'd never been able to express to her; and now it was too late. Once he ran out of tears, he drowned himself in scotch. He put in a movie but couldn't concentrate on it as thoughts of Ziva flooded his mind. Now thoroughly drunk, he glanced at the TV and saw two of the characters kissing. His mind flashed with the image of Abby and Gibbs kissing in the lab, and he clenched the glass in his hand tighter and poured himself another drink.

"I don't get it," Tony thought to himself as his head swam and his better judgement gave way to the alcohol. "Ziva just died and those two are making out like teenagers?" Tony staggered around his living room, still holding his scotch and ranting to himself. "Gibbs was crying when he was kissing her. Crying! Gibbs doesn't cry!" The more he thought of Abby and Gibbs, the more confused he became, and with the confusion came anger and frustration. He tried desperately to make sense of what he had seen, but alcohol and grief were putting strange thoughts into his head.

"What, Gibbs?" Tony ranted, severely drunk and now very angry. "Rule 12 doesn't apply to you?" Suddenly a thought entered his mind and Tony looked as if he was having a real epiphany. Truth be told, it wasn't an epiphany; the scotch and sorrow were just making him unreasonable and desperate for any kind of explanation. "I get it, Gibbs!" Tony slurred, "You were hurting so bad because of Ziva, that you immediately ran into the arms of Abby! You using her so you don't have to feel so bad tonight? Getting physical pleasure so you don't have to think about the crippling mental pain? IF I HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT SO DO YOU!" Tony was in a full drunken rage now, stumbling around his apartment, scotch sloshing out of his glass and on to him and the floor. He didn't notice and didn't care. "Abby is like my little sister! And I LOVED ZIVA! MORE THAN YOU LOVED HER, GIBBS! I'm not just gonna stand by and watch you use Abby because you can't handle the pain!" Tony set his glass down, threw his jacket back on, went outside and hailed a cab.

Twenty minutes later, the cab pulled up in front of Gibbs' house. The driver, seeing how drunk Tony was, called to him after Tony paid him, "You got someone here to let you in? The place looks pretty dark."

Tony caught himself as he tripped on the curb and said curtly, "I'm fine," before shutting the door and waiting for the cabbie to drive off. Once the cab was gone, Tony steadied himself and walked up to Gibbs front door. Before he could barge in, Gibbs opened it from the other side, looking like he had just laid down to sleep.

"DiNozzo? What the hell are ya doing?" Gibbs asked as he stepped aside and let Tony come in. Tony started swaying, looking like he was ready to pass out. Gibbs caught him so he wouldn't fall, and then realized just how drunk Tony really was. Tony shoved him away roughly and started yelling.

"Where the hell is she, Gibbs? How could you do this? You don't get to hurt anyone! I'm sure Abby is hurting enough without you using her for your sexual gratification! Where is she, Gibbs? WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?! Upstairs?" Tony made it up a few stairs before tripping and sliding back down to the bottom. Instead of trying to get up again, Tony drew his knees up to his chest and started sobbing.

Gibbs was bewildered. He had no idea what Tony was talking about. Using Abby for sexual gratification? It dawned on Gibbs that Tony must have seen him kissing Abby in the lab. But that was all that happened. They were both tired and upset, and agreed to talk the next day. Nothing sexual had happened. As Gibbs tried to put the pieces together, he knelt next to Tony and tried to help him up, but Tony again pushed him away.

"Just go get her, Gibbs, so I can take her home," he choked out in between sobs.

"Tony, go get who?" Gibbs asked softly. He was angry at Tony for showing up in this state, but couldn't blame him, and did not raise his voice or sound mad.

"Go get who? Gibbs asked again, "Abby?"

"Yes, Abby!" Tony slurred, still on the floor crying, now unable to get up. "We're all hurting Gibbs, but that doesn't give you an excuse to hurt her! I can't believe you Gibbs... I just can't believe you did that..." Tony dissolved into tears once again. Gibbs' heart was breaking for Tony, and he knew that with the state Tony was in, he would need to handle this delicately.

"Tony..." Gibbs said softly and then waited for him to lift his head and look him in the eyes. Tony's eyes were glazed from drink, and he had anguish and anger written all over his face. "Tony, Abby isn't here. She's at home."

New anger flooded Tony's features and he slurred his response, "Oh, that's even better! Don't even stay the night! Just a wham, bam, thank you ma'am type of guy, huh Gibbs?"

Gibbs scrubbed his face wearily. "No, DiNozzo. I did not sleep with Abby. She went home. I came here. That's it. Nothing happened."

_"_It didn't look like nothing when you two were sucking face in her lab!" Tony spat venomously.

Gibbs sighed. So that _was _it. "DiNozzo, Abby and I did kiss in her lab. We kissed. That was it. We said we would talk about it tomorrow, then I went home. I told Abby to finish up and go home. I did not sleep with her, and I am NOT using her for sexual gratification." Tony looked up at Gibbs, tears still streaming down his face, but the anger in his eyes was gone. His look was now one of absolute sorrow.

"Oh, Tony..." Gibbs said as he sat down on the bottom step and wrapped Tony up in his arms. This time, Tony did not push him away, but grabbed on to him tightly and cried even harder. Gibbs just sat there holding him while he cried, every few minutes whispering to him, "I know, son. It's gonna be ok."

Once Tony was out of tears, Gibbs pulled him to his feet and dragged him over to the couch. As soon as Tony sat down the room started spinning, and Tony turned an unhealthy shade of green. Gibbs immediately jumped up to grab a the trashcan, and shoved it in front of Tony just in time to catch the contents of Tony's stomach. Gibbs sat next to him and rubbed his back while he was sick. Once he was sure that Tony was done, he brought him a cool cloth and a glass of water. Tony was beyond being able to function at this point so Gibbs wiped his face for him and held the water up for him to drink. He untied Tony's laces and slipped his shoes off. Then he took Tony by the shoulders and laid him down on the couch, covering him with a blanket. Tony finally closed his eyes and passed out.

Gibbs sighed, and then went into the kitchen to make coffee. He felt extraordinarily guilty. Guilty for kissing Abby, for Tony seeing it and misunderstanding his intentions. Guilty for Ziva's death, although he knew he couldn't have stopped it. Gibbs sat at the kitchen table and sipped his coffee. It was now after 3AM and Gibbs was too wired to go back to sleep. After a few minutes he saw a car pull up out front and then heard his door opening slowly. He looked up to see Tim and Abby standing in the living room, both of their eyes red from crying. He saw the look on Tim's face and knew Abby had told him about their kiss, although it didn't surprise him. They were best friends and Abby told him just about everything. Gibbs saw that there was no malice on his face, only exhaustion and sorrow. He walked up and silently pulled both of them into a hug and let them use his shoulders to cry. Once they were out of tears, nobody said anything as Gibbs pulled out pillows and blankets and made up beds on the floor next to Tony. Gibbs adjusted Tim's covers and said, "Try to get some sleep, son." Then he pulled Abby's covers over her and brushed her hair out of her eyes. "My Abby..." he whispered before kissing her gently on the cheek. "Have sweet dreams, Abbs."

As horrible as the day had been, he was happy that Abby, Tony and Tim were there. Gibbs went upstairs and fell into bed in the guest room. In another few hours he would need to be up and functioning, regardless of how he felt. They were all overwhelmed with grief at losing Ziva, and he needed to stay strong for them.

**TBC...**


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own NCIS...**

**Chapter 3**

At 0600, the alarm on Gibbs phone went off. Even after less than 3 hours of sleep, Gibbs got up and quietly made his way downstairs to check on his team... his family. They were all still in deep sleep, and Gibbs decided he did not want to wake them. He poured himself a cup of coffee and stepped out on to the back patio. He took out his phone and dialed Director Vance.

"Gibbs," Leon said as he answered his phone, "I expected you to already be in the office by now."

"What time did you get in?" Gibbs replied, surprised that the director was in so early, considering he was still there when Gibbs had left the second time last night.

"Haven't left let, Gibbs. What can I do for you?" The Director asked, sounding tired and aged.

"Decided to take you up on your offer from yesterday. The team needs time... We can all use a few days after..." Gibbs cleared his throat, "...yesterday."

"Consider it done, Gibbs," Leon said, knowing how grief-stricken they all were. "I'll take you off rotation for as long as you need."

"Thanks, Leon," Gibbs said, relief evident in his voice.

"You got it. Just take care of them Gibbs, and yourself, too." The Director hung up before he could reply. Gibbs snapped his phone shut and took a long sip of coffee, looking out into the yard. Despite the beautiful morning, his heart was heavy. He quietly made his way back into the house and into the living room to see his team, one musketeer short. Tears came as he thought of Ziva. His little girl. He lost another one. He did not fight the tears, but let them rain silently. He walked over to the couch where Tony was sleeping and pulled the covers back over him. He ran his hand affectionately through Tony's hair, and then knelt down and did the same with Tim. Then he leaned over Abby, fixed her blankets and softly kissed her cheek. She stirred, but did not wake. Gibbs could feel his chest tightening with sorrow, so he got dressed and decided to go for a run. An hour and a half later he was back home, showered and on his third cup of coffee. He sat at the table and tried to read the paper, but his mind kept wandering to Ziva and his eyes kept wandering to Abby. He finally put the paper down and decided to go to the hardware store and let the team sleep. Just as he did for Mike Franks, he would be making Ziva's casket himself. He needed to sweat out the pain, and felt that this was the only way to do it.

Gibbs took his time at the hardware store, making sure each piece of wood was flawless. He bought new sandpaper, new dark cherry stain, and new brushes. He also bought a new stone to sharpen his chisel; the beautiful chisel that Ziva had given him for leaving her in Israel. He would use it to make her final resting place beautiful. He stopped at the grocery store before heading home, so it was already 10AM by the time he pulled his truck back into the driveway. He quietly opened the door, arms full of groceries, and saw that everyone was still sleeping soundly. The fact that they were all soundly asleep at 10AM on a Tuesday morning was a firm testament of how off, how bad... things had become. "I'm so sorry..." Gibbs thought to himself as he quietly made his way into the kitchen. He put most of the groceries away, and then pulled out frying pans and started scrambling eggs. He would spend the majority of the day working in the basement, but needed a hot meal and knew the team, and especially Tony, did as well. He heard the front door open and looked up as Ducky came in with a coffee in hand for Gibbs. Ducky looked solemn and tired. He tiptoed past the sleeping team, and went to join Gibbs in the kitchen.

"Good morning, Jethro," Ducky said quietly as he handed Gibbs his coffee.

"Not really..." Gibbs snapped and then immediately looked sorry that he said it. "I'm sorry, Duck," he said quickly, desperately trying to shake away the cloud of grief. "Good morning. Thanks for the coffee." He looked at Ducky, ashamed, and then felt tears once again stinging his eyes.

Ducky gave him a sad smile and held out his arms, "Jethro, my dear boy, it's quite alright," Ducky said as he pulled him into a hug, and Gibbs again started crying quietly, this time on to his old friend's shoulder. He had been so strong, hugging his team, comforting them, and really holding it together for them, but with Ducky he didn't need too. Ducky simply cried with him; it was all they could do really, after losing a family member. Once they had both regained their composure, Gibbs resumed making breakfast, while Ducky put on a fresh pot of coffee and got out the toaster.

They worked together in comfortable silence, until Ducky said quietly, "I thought the three of them would wind up over here, poor things."

Gibbs just nodded and concentrated on the eggs and bacon while Ducky started buttering toast. They heard stirring in the living room and heard Abby's sleepy voice drift into the kitchen. "Hmmm, breakfast smells good... I hope I have time to eat, what time is it..." Abby picked up her phone to check the time. "TEN THIRTY! MCGEE! GET UP! WE'RE SERIOUSLY LATE FOR WORK!"

Tim was startled out of his sleep by Abby, jumped up and started looking around frantically for his phone and keys. "How the hell did I sleep till ten thirty?" McGee wondered aloud as he panicked, "Gibbs is gonna kill me!"

"No I'm not," Gibbs said quietly as he stepped into the living room, "You slept until ten thirty because I let you." Tony remained in a deep sleep on the couch, not even stirring at all the commotion. Gibbs decided not to wake him for breakfast. He definitely needed the sleep.

Abby and Tim looked at each other, then back at Gibbs, and the memories of yesterday and last night came flooding back. Tim sighed and dropped himself into the recliner, holding his head in his hands. Ducky went over and put an arm around him while Abby walked silently over to Gibbs. Gibbs held out his arms and drew Abby to him. He hugged her close and kissed her check tenderly. He pressed his forehead against hers and whispered, "I'm here, Abby. Everything's gonna be ok..." She smiled bravely at him, took his face in her hands, and gently gave him a small peck on the lips before hugging him tightly again.

The scene was very intimate, and caught Ducky by surprise, although he did not let on that it did. He could easily see that there was more going on with them than a simple hug of comfort from a friend. Before he could muse any further, Gibbs pulled away from Abby and said, "Come on, breakfast is ready."

Abby went into the kitchen followed by Tim, and Ducky hesitated and looked at Gibbs curiously.

"Later, Duck," Gibbs said quietly, and Ducky nodded his understanding. There was definitely something going on, but now was not the time to discuss it. At the breakfast table, Ducky cut through the silence by telling a fond memory of a lunch date he once had with Ziva. He smiled as he told the tale, and everyone else smiled too. The conversation continued with different, happy Ziva stories.

No one at the breakfast table realized that Tony had woken up and was listening to the stories being told. Tony stayed on the couch as fresh tears clouded his vision. He pulled the blanket over his head and wept silently, not having the strength or motivation to get up. He wished he could just sleep forever. He cried himself back to sleep, praying that the next time he woke up, Ziva would be there to tell him that this was all a bad dream...

**TBC...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much for the reviews, follows and favorites! You guys rock! I do not own NCIS...**

**Chapter 4**

Once Gibbs, Ducky, Tim and Abby finished eating breakfast, they all decided to go home and relax the rest of the day. They knew that Gibbs was building Ziva's casket, and knew he would want to be alone while he did it. Tony was snoring on the couch with the blanket pulled up over his head. Gibbs saw them to the door, and let Ducky and Tim exit first. Tim stood on the porch, looking at Abby and waiting for her to follow. He was her ride.

"I'll meet you in the car, Timmy," Abby said, and Tim quickly got the hint. After Tim went to his car, Gibbs quickly shut the door, took Abby by the hand and led her back into the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around her, and softly kissed her lips.

"Call me before you go to sleep tonight, Abbs," he whispered to her.

"That might be really late, Gibbs," she said, grief and exhaustion still heavy in her voice.

"Don't care," Gibbs said simply before kissing her again quickly and leading her back to the door. They both knew that there was still a lot to talk about, but now was definitely not the time. She nodded at him and offered a half-smile and another quick hug before letting herself out. Gibbs sighed and leaned up against the door after everyone but Tony, who was still snoring, had left. Basement time.

Just before 2PM Tony awoke again, this time to a screaming headache and a full bladder. He sat up and looked around, confused until flashes of memories from the day and night before enlightened him. Great. It wasn't just a bad dream. He forced himself up off of the couch and made his way to the bathroom. The house was quiet, and as Tony answered nature's call, he tried to piece together the events of the night before. He remember seeing Abby and Gibbs kissing in the lab, then going home, opening the liquor cabinet and crying for Ziva. The rest was a blank. He wasn't even sure how he'd gotten to Gibbs' house. As the thought dawned on him he quickly washed his hands and went back to the living room. Peering out the front window he said aloud to himself, "Good God, I didn't drive here, did I?"

"Nope," came Gibbs' reply from the kitchen, "ya caught a cab." Tony turned and made his way to the kitchen slowly, where Gibbs, sweaty and covered in sawdust, had just turned on the microwave and was making a fresh pot of coffee.

"What do ya got for a four alarm hangover and a broken heart, Boss?" Tony asked as he sat down wearily at the table. Gibbs opened a bottle of water and set it in front of him along with three ibuprofen and a plate of breakfast he took out of the microwave.

"That should help with the hangover. The broken heart... I can't help you with that." Gibbs said as he walked over and stood beside Tony, gently running his hand through his son's hair before turning back to the coffee pot.

"Gibbs, what the hell did I do last night?" Tony asked, almost afraid to know the answer.

Gibbs hesitated before saying, "...No. Eat first. Drink lots of water and take a shower. Then come downstairs and we'll talk." Before Tony could protest, Gibbs was heading back down the basement stairs, fresh coffee in hand. "There's clean sweats in the guest bedroom!" Gibbs called as he went, then left Tony alone with his breakfast.

Once Tony was done in the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist and checked himself in the mirror. "You look like hell, DiNozzo," he said to himself as he scratched at the stubble on his chin and noted the dark circles under his eyes. He quickly turned away from the mirror, dressed and made his way into the kitchen.

He grabbed another bottle of water from the fridge and slowly made his way to the basement. Gibbs was sawing through a piece of wood, and only noticed Tony when he stopped to wipe his brow.

"Didn't hear you come down, DiNozzo," Gibbs said as he pulled up a sawhorse for Tony to sit. Gibbs grabbed a chair and sat facing Tony.

"Can you please tell me what happened last night, Gibbs?" Tony asked in a small voice. Gibbs was taken aback by Tony's simply plea. This did not sound like the Tony DiNozzo that he knew.

"Why don't you tell me what you remember first and we'll go from there." Gibbs said quietly, knowing that his head was probably still throbbing. Tony scrubbed his hands over his face and nodded.

"I remember everything that happened... at work... with Ziva... Then you left, and me and McGee finished our reports." Gibbs nodded and Tony took a minute to compose himself. Just saying Ziva's name nearly brought him to tears. He cleared his throat and continued, "I remember that I sent you a text saying that we were going home. Not long after I left the Navy Yard, I realized that I left my phone on my desk, so I went back to get it. Abby's car was still there, so I went to the lab to see if she wanted a ride home. That's when I saw you two... I remember I was confused when I saw you together, but I pushed it to the back of my mind and didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to think about anything..." Tony trailed off and Gibbs prompted him.

"What else do you remember?"

"I went home, poured a drink, and then poured another one. Then I cried... The last thing I remember is waking up but the room was spinning... I heard people talking about Ziva... telling nice stories about her. I prayed that this was all a dream and cried again. Then I woke up again and it was quiet, and you know the rest. That's all I remember." Tony lifted his head to meet Gibbs' gaze and Gibbs saw that he looked like a lonely, lost puppy.

Gibbs looked at him for what seemed like a long time and then finally broke the silence. "Tony, what happened with Abby and I..." Tony raised his hand and interrupted him before he could continue.

"You don't owe me an explanation, Boss. I mean, you have to be blind not to see that you're in love with her, and we all know how much she loves you. If you guys are happy together then I'm happy for you. I know you would never hurt her."

"Do you Tony? Do you really know that I would never hurt her?"

Tony looked up, surprised that Gibbs would ask him something so ridiculous. "Of course, Gibbs. No offense, but that's a stupid question..." Tony trailed off again and then a strange look crossed his face. "Why are you asking me that? What am I missing?"

Gibbs sighed, finished the coffee in his cup and met Tony's confused, exhausted and hung-over gaze. "You came in a cab at about 0200, smelling like someone dumped a bottle of scotch on you and barely able to stand. You immediately started yelling and asking where Abby was. You told me that Abby was in enough pain about Ziva, and I wasn't allowed to use her to ease my pain and for my sexual gratification." Tony's eyes got wide and his mouth hung open in shock while Gibbs continued. "It took me a few minutes, but I finally got it through your head that I didn't sleep with Abby... I've _never_ slept with Abby... We never even kissed until last night, and I wasn't, I'm _not_, using her. She wasn't even here. Once you finally calmed down you threw up and then passed out. Tim and Abby showed up shortly after you went to sleep. They camped out in the living room next to you. I called Vance this morning and told him we were all taking a few days. Ducky came over for breakfast, and they were sharing stories about Ziva while we ate. That's what you heard when you woke up the first time."

Gibbs gave Tony a minute to digest the information, and Tony finally spoke, barely above a whisper. "Gibbs, I'm gonna have to break a rule..." He made eye contact with Gibbs, and Gibbs' heart broke as two tears ran down Tony's cheeks. "I'm sorry, Boss. I know you're not like that... I know you would never... Shit, I don't know what the hell I was thinking!"

"You weren't thinking, Tony. Scotch was doing the thinking for you." There was no malice in Gibbs' voice, only love and understanding.

"Boss, I'm so sorry..." Tony said again, looking bewildered and incredibly ashamed. Gibbs got out of his chair, sat on the sawhorse next to Tony and put an arm around him. As soon as he did, Tony buried his head in his shoulder and cried.

"Hey, it's ok," Gibbs said as he held Tony close, "Yesterday was a bad day, and we have some hard days ahead, but it'll be alright. I promise." He kissed Tony's head, and let him cry. After a few minutes, Tony wiped away his tears and looked up at Gibbs, who was still holding him, shielding him from the world.

"Will it be ok, Boss? Will _I _be ok?" Tony asked.

Gibbs smiled and gave him a squeeze. "You don't have my permission not to be, DiNozzo." Tony finally smiled and relaxed in Gibbs' protective embrace.

Maybe it will be ok...

**TBC... **


	5. Chapter 5

**You guys are amazing! I do not own NCIS...**

**Chapter 5**

Tony sat in the basement for a few more minutes with Gibbs, before standing up and saying, "I have to go home, Boss." He was not asking permission. Gibbs nodded, stood up and brushed the sawdust off of himself.

"I'll drive you." Gibbs said, and Tony shook his head.

"That's ok, I'll get a cab. You need to be here to work on Ziva's..." He didn't finish his sentence. Gibbs just nodded again, understanding that Tony needed to be in control. With everything as _out of control _as it had been, he knew that Tony needed to take control whenever he could get it.

"You have food at your place?" Gibbs asked and Tony nodded.

"I can order something." It wasn't exactly the answer that Gibbs was looking for, but he knew that they would all do whatever it took to make sure he was ok. Tony said a quick goodbye to Gibbs, and hurried out to the cab as soon as it got there. Once he was gone, Gibbs flipped open his phone and dialed Tim.

"Hey, Boss," Tim answered, "How's Tony?"

"He's ok. Just went home in a cab..." There was a pause before Gibbs spoke again, "How are ya doing, McGee?"

Tim sighed and said, "As good as can be expected, I guess. I dropped Abby off at home. She said that she was going to call Sister Rosita and talk to her for a while, ask her to pray for Ziva... for all of us. Are _you_ ok, Boss?"

Gibbs ignored his question. "You have any plans for tonight, Tim?"

"Nothing besides sitting at home. It doesn't feel right to do much else..." Tim trailed off, and Gibbs could hear how badly Ziva's death was affecting him, although he didn't sound half as bad as Tony.

"Can you do me a favor? You don't have to if you don't feel up to it..." Tim listened silently and Gibb continued, "Will you go check up on DiNozzo in a bit? I just want ya to make sure he doesn't drink himself into a coma like he nearly did last night." Gibbs ran a hand over his face as he held the phone up to his ear.

"Sure Boss," Tim replied quietly, "I'll give him some time to get home and head over there in about an hour."

"If you have to, dump the booze. Tell him _I_ gave you the order, and if he doesn't like it he can talk to me about it."

"Got it."

"And Tim... My phone is on and the door is open."

"Thanks, Gibbs." Tim whispered into the phone, the weight on his heart feeling slightly less crushing knowing that Gibbs would remain their rock. Being a Federal Agent was physically, mentally and emotionally an exhausting job. There were many times in his career at NCIS that Tim was ready to give up, walk away and never look back. But nine times out of ten it was Gibbs who kept him grounded, who reminded him _why_ they did what they did. If it was easy, they weren't doing their job properly.

Gibbs snapped the phone shut in his customary manner, dropped it on the workbench, and resumed sawing through the beautiful wood that Ziva would rest in. He was glad the phone call with Tim hadn't been awkward. It definitely wasn't a normal phone call, but Gibbs found he was relieved that Tim seemed to hold no hard feelings towards him or Abby for their new... relationship? Gibbs wasn't quite sure yet. He knew for sure that he loved her, but he and Abby needed to have a long talk before even considering letting things progress any farther than they already had. After a few minutes of sawing, he heard his phone ringing, and he picked it up and checked the caller ID. The number had a New York City area code. He flipped open the phone again, not knowing who the call was coming from.

"Yeah Gibbs," he answered wearily, and immediately recognized the voice on the other end as belonging to Anthony DiNozzo Senior.

"Gibbs! Tony DiNozzo! How's everything in DC?" Senior asked cheerfully, and Gibbs had to bite his tongue to keep from snapping. He had no right to snap at Senior, who was only trying to make friendly conversation, and caught himself before he did snap. Senior was clearly oblivious to everything that had happened the day before, but Gibbs could not continue the conversation as if everything was fine, because it wasn't. He took a deep breath and started talking into the phone quietly.

"Everything is shot to hell, Mr. DiNozzo. Ziva is dead. She died yesterday." He heard Senior gasp.

"Oh my God... Oh my God, Gibbs... How did this happen? Is Junior alright? I tried calling him and he didn't answer..." Gibbs could hear the panic rising in Senior's voice, and felt his gut twist into a knot.

"Physically he's fine, but to be honest with you, none of us are ok. Tony is devastated." Gibbs waited, and it was a long minute before he heard Senior's now sullen voice come through the phone.

"Gibbs, what happened to my dear Ziva?" Senior asked, his voice getting choked with emotion. Gibbs felt his gut twist even more. He knew how fond Senior was of Ziva. He remembered him saying to Tony that she'd be a "perfect daughter-in-law" and asking when he was "going to sweep this gorgeous creature off her feet."

"There was a bomb in the building. Ziva didn't make it out in time... The investigation is still ongoing." That was Gibbs' way of telling Senior that he wasn't going to say any more than that. Senior let out a shuttering breath and cleared his throat.

"Gibbs, I'm so sorry... What can I do? Do you think Tony would mind if I flew in to see him?" Gibbs pinched the bridge of his nose, aggravated, but not surprised, by Senior's question. For a man with as much business savvy and book smarts as Senior had, he didn't know jack about the needs of his son.

"It doesn't matter if he would mind or not," Gibbs said curtly, "Tony needs you. Needs you to hold him up... He needs you to be a father to him. He loved Ziva more than any of us..."

"I'm on the next flight out," Senior said, and Gibbs was surprised that he hung up without another word. Senior had recently been making a greater effort to be in Tony's life, and although they still hit bumps in the road, they were making progress.

Gibbs glanced at the time on his phone. It was approaching five in the evening, and although he was not yet satisfied with the progress of his sad project, he stopped working and went upstairs to shower, eat and rest. He did not need the bourbon tempting him tonight. After a hot shower and a quick cowboy style steak, Gibbs lay down on the couch and closed his eyes. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt this incredibly tired. Despite his exhaustion Gibbs slept lightly; in case his family needed him, and in case something else went horribly wrong.

He slept the next few hours undisturbed, until his phone beeped with a text message from Senior that said simply, "Landed in DC, going straight to Tony's." Gibbs glanced at the time, surprised and relieved that Senior had dropped everything and got to DC quickly. Tony would need all of the support he could get. To prevent his mind from wandering into dark and forbidden territories, Gibbs closed his eyes again and willed sleep to overcome him. Just as he was starting to doze off, he heard his front door open slowly. He opened his eyes and saw Abby as she closed the door behind her and silently made her way over to him. She was in sweat pants and a t-shirt, with no jewelry or makeup and her hair loose and cascading over her shoulders. Gibbs moved so that he was lying on his side with his back pressed against the back of the couch. Abby kicked off her sneakers and lay down with him. He wrapped her up in his arms and she rested her head on his chest. Abby was so quiet that it was making Gibbs nervous.

He kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Alright, Abbs?"

She sighed deeply but nodded to him that she was. He smiled at her, placed a chaste kiss on her lips, and held her tightly. Gibbs decided then that, regardless of whatever else that was going on, good or bad, case or no case; he would always make time for Abby. There was still much for them to talk about, but for now they were content to simply be near one another and comfort one another. It's what they had always done, and what they would continue to do.

**TBC...**


End file.
